"In this world, there is a kind of painful progress. Longing for what we've left behind, and dreaming ahead." - Harper, Angels in America: Perestroika
Probably the most unpleasant realization in this world is the fact that time does not stand still. It keeps moving forward, but, as questioned in Perestroika, it moves forward to what? Like Harper says, we would all rather be still attached to those people, places, and things from the past that we hold so dear. This is impossible. Actually, I would argue that the reason these things left behind are so precious is simply because they are past experiences, unreachable, yet unforgettable. The things that make us who we are fade into the past as we move forward into our new selves. Sadly, if we kept experiencing the same things over and over again we would never move forward at all - and progress is the nature of the world.
Yes, life is painful. We have to leave so much behind. We have no choice. But the dreams we have for the future keep us moving forward and keep us resilient. It's funny that what Harper says in this instance is so true, since for most of Angels in America she is a Valium addict, hallucinating and making no sense. Sometimes even what we perceive as chaos can in the end hold the ultimate truth, like the "threshold of revelation" in every one of Harper's hallucinations.
So, moving forward to what? Every dream achieved can't stand unmoving. Each dream is like the rung on a ladder, but knowing where you're climbing can make a whole lot of difference in life. The thing is, for some people, and for people who have reached their ultimate dream, the destination of life keeps changing as well. I guess everything has to progress and transform, even the future that hasn't yet manifested itself in our lives.
To wrap things up, I'm going where I need to go and I've been where I needed to be. Accepting change has never been easy for me, but if I don't, the world will keep rolling on and drag me behind it on the ground, tied by my ankles. I can do this painfully, or get up and walk down the road to the future. It's better to wake up and realize that no matter what, I can never just stay put.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to help you and not to hurt you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11
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